The difference is wild!

This blog explains what really moved the needle to help me feel and look better after children.

Those weeks, months and years after having children are both special and complicated. I felt fulfilled and grateful, but at the same time I felt like I was living in a body and style that didn’t feel like mine anymore.

Looking back, I don’t think I had ever really considered my “style” or what suited me. I mostly just wore what I liked in the moment. Before kids, everything felt more forgiving. It didn’t seem to matter if something was my best colour. I suppose good sleep and a healthy iron level will do that for you.

It would be dishonest to say that wearing the right colours suddenly fixed everything. Colour has played a huge part, but the real shift was internal. It felt like I had to slowly reprogramme everything I had absorbed over the years.

“Colour has played a huge part, but the real shift was internal. It felt like I had to slowly reprogramme everything I had absorbed over the years.”

If I had to narrow it down, these are the things that made the biggest difference.

The first was that I relaxed. I stopped trying to look “smart” all the time. I think my way of coping with feeling tired and out of shape was to aim for looking as put together as possible. Not overdressed, but overly formal.

Some of my favourite outfits from a recent holiday — Some of my favourite outfits

I see this often with clients now. In trying to feel stylish, they chase the idea of “chic”. Without realising it, that often turns into a very dialled down, beige wardrobe that should feel like quiet luxury, but actually feels a little flat. And more importantly, it rarely fits their real life.

I have a friend who always looks good. Effortlessly. Her version of chic has never been minimal or overly classic. It leans slightly 90s, a little unexpected, a bit relaxed. She never looks like she’s wearing something new, but she always looks current.

More than anything, she always looks comfortable. Her shoes never hurt, her jeans never dig in. She would rather go without something than wear something that needs adjusting all day.

This realisation didn’t happen all at once. It built slowly. But what I began to notice, across all the women whose style I admired, was this: they never chose “smart” over comfort. And when comfort was the priority, it still looked considered.

That made me question the rules I had always followed.

The women who dress well rarely follow them. In fact, they often do the opposite.

Clothes should be flattering
Balance everything
Black goes with everything
Stripes make you look wider
Neutrals are safest
Keep it simple

None of these felt particularly helpful anymore.

So I started to shift how I dressed.

I moved towards looser trousers and jeans. Barrel legs, wide legs, anything with a comfortable waist. My body had done enough. It didn’t need to be held in all day as well.

I accepted that wearing what I actually like might make me a little more visible. And that’s fine. I can either hide, or I can wear what I enjoy and trust that most people aren’t analysing me in the way I sometimes imagine.

I started putting more thought into my everyday outfits. The pieces I wear on repeat now get the same attention I used to give to occasionwear. I think about them, I choose carefully, and I make sure they feel good to wear.

And finally, I committed to dressing within my colour palette. This has probably been the biggest shift of all.

“I started putting more thought into my everyday outfits. The pieces I wear on repeat now get the same attention I used to give to occasionwear.”

Instead of asking myself if I look good enough, I ask whether the colours I’m wearing are working for me. Whether they support my colouring, rather than compete with it.

Over time, that small change has been surprisingly powerful. It moves your focus away from what you’re trying to fix, and towards what’s already working.

And that’s where confidence tends to build.